Job 30-31:40
1 “I made a covenant with my eyes
not to look with lust at a young woman.
2 For what has God above chosen for us?
What is our inheritance from the Almighty on high?
3 Isn’t it calamity for the wicked
and misfortune for those who do evil?
4 Doesn’t he see everything I do
and every step I take?
Job 31:1-4
Job did nothing wrong. He was upright in the eyes of God without fail. Even in the deepest, darkest, moments he did not blame God for his misfortune or pain. I'm not going through anything nearly so drastic. The stress in my life currently is purely a result of internal conflict. But what I am realizing is I still can not manage stress in my life in a productive manner. It is too easy for me to fall back into old habits. While extra responsibility is exciting and romantic feelings are a blessing, they are a weight I am finding difficult to bear at the present. The silly thing is that it is all in my head. I am the only one making things difficult.
It doesn't have to be this way. My problem is still a lack of discipline. This is a new year. Another new beginning. Another chance to be the man God made me to be and I MUST relentlessly pursue this. I need to check my eyes and my thoughts and implement safeguards to protect myself and my future wife from a habit of empty pleasure and shallow lusts. I MUST fight these demons. I need to hold on to Jesus. I need to make a covenant with my eyes.
Prayer:
Lord
Save me. I can not handle this on my own. I want to be a man after your own heart. I need to keep your word hidden in my heart so that I will not sin against you. I am now TODAY making a covenant with my eyes, not to look at a woman with lustful intentions. I pray that I treat the women in my life with respect and that I am an encouragement to them to grow closer to you. I want my future wife to grow to love me because they see these qualities played out in my life. Lord I thank you for your grace and your mercy. You are the God of second chances, and third, and fourths. I have failed you so many times and worse than this, but you love me anyway. Let my words be true, I am in love with you Lord and I pray it pours from my heart to all those around me. You are worthy to be praised.
Love,
Johnny
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